my third birth story

When does this story begin? The way a birthing time begins and the point at which a woman says, "that's when it started" seems to vary. With our third baby my birthing time felt both longer and shorter than the approximately thirty hours I experienced with each of our other children before their Cesarean births. This time it was longer because of prodromal labor. One evening I felt mildly uncomfortable pressure waves (contractions) that required my attention, instead of Braxton Hicks. They started ten days before Third Girl was born and seemed to be more noticeable each day from about 5 PM on. Sometimes they were ten minutes apart or closer; then they would space out in the morning. There was no reason to tell anyone that anything was happening, because it was not consistent, I have a history of slow dilation, and we planned to not go to the hospital until pressure waves were three minutes apart. After a couple of days my husband or I did tell a few people that I was having a lot more contractions, but we also told them not to get excited yet. We had plans for the Christmas weekend. As it got closer I hoped I would not still be pregnant then, partly because my sleep was getting interrupted so much.

My mom came to take care of our older girls while we went to our last Hypnobabies class. This was nine days after the pressure waves had become more serious and at least five days after I felt that the baby had dropped lower into my pelvis. I didn't lose my mucus plug or anything, but I was pretty sure that she would be born before the due date. We spent class time pretending that each wife was having pressure waves and she and her husband practiced various techniques and positions to help her through them. The difference was that I really was having pressure waves.

The next morning I took a long shower before the kids woke up, and our four-person family went to my scheduled midwife appointment at 11:20. I hadn't met this midwife before. She was really good. I told her I thought I was in labor because the contractions forced me to stop was I was doing, and for almost the last hour they had been coming every eight minutes. I was able to relax well as she gently checked my cervix. She asked me to guess how far dilated I was, and I said, "Oh, two?" She said, "You're at five, no, I'll say six centimeters." I said, almost crying, "That makes me really happy."

I was also fully effaced and the baby was at a 0 or +1 station! I felt even more confident about having a vaginal birth. We were definitely surprised to hear her say six cm, since I had never been dilated that far before. (With our other two babies I was at two or three cm when we arrived at the hospital, and eventually progressed to four or five. This time, we don't know how long my body took to get six cm dilated, because I chose not to have my cervix checked at previous appointments. That's why this birthing time felt shorter; I didn't have anybody checking on my progress during the first part of it.)

We got ready to leave the clinic and the midwife congratulated me. "I think you're going to have your VBAC. You're going to have your baby today!" She said it was up to us whether to go right to the hospital or to go home first. She thought things could happen fast and recommended that if we go home to get our bags we shouldn't "dilly dally." She called the hospital to tell them we would be coming.

We headed for home since we knew it would be more peaceful and pleasant there. (Plus it takes less than half an hour to drive from our home to the hospital.) In the car I called our doula -- the same one who helped us with our first baby's birth. She was excited to hear the news, and she agreed that we should go home.

My mother-in-law came and got our other children. Without them at home my husband and I felt like we were on a date, even though we weren't always together. At first I didn't need him during pressure waves. He spent a lot of the day watching the news and using his computer. I ate whatever I wanted and made sure to drink a lot of water as well as some Powerade. Throughout the day I listened to several Hypnobabies tracks on my iPod. I put more things in our suitcase to take to the hospital, did some housework, and walked on the treadmill for half an hour. I also took a nap. It was so nice and quiet.

I timed most of the pressure waves, using an app on my husband's phone. They weren't real close together -- usually six to eight minutes apart, I think. During pressure waves I used deep relaxation and other Hypnobabies tools I had practiced each day for five weeks. I'm really glad we took the course because it made a difference. I felt best being vertical and leaning forward. (Lying down was more painful.) Depending on where I was I either straddled the birth ball and rested my arms and head on a stack of pillows on top of our bed, or leaned on a piece of furniture or a wall.

As the pressure waves started to get harder for me I liked to have my husband come over so I could put my arms around his neck and feel his arms around me. We had decided ahead of time that I would just say "wave" to let him know when one was starting. My exhalations turned into louder "ohhh" sounds during the peaks of the pressure waves. At 7:55 PM I told him I felt like we should go to the hospital, and he called our doula to have her meet us there. I just felt a little different, with more pressure (sometimes pain) by my tailbone and a little nausea. Even though the pressure waves weren't really consistent or closer together, they were lasting for a minute or longer.

We arrived at the hospital about 9 PM. I had to have a nurse assess me before admitting me. She told me to put the gown on but I said I would rather wear my own clothes, and she was okay with that. She put a fetal monitor on my belly. It immediately showed decelerations in the baby's heart rate (the same thing happened to our other daughters). At 9:15 the nurse checked me and found that I was dilated six to seven cm.

We went up to a labor and delivery room. We had requested the room with the best tub, but the staff suggested that we be in the room closest to the operating suites. I changed into just a shift (like a full-length slip) with a short-sleeved maternity shirt over it. The nurse put in an IV. There was talk of releasing the bag of waters to help things along. It could let the baby's head move further down the birth canal and also we would be able to place an internal monitor on her head to better track her heart rate, which the staff was pretty nervous about. The attending physician came in and met us at 9:40 and talked with us. This was probably when he said he thought the baby wouldn't be able to handle the labor, which would likely take at least four more hours to dilate fully, and the pushing that would take maybe two hours or more (since I have never pushed a baby out).

There are a lot of details that I don't remember but our doula had written them down. Labs were drawn on me at 9:50 and I felt shaky. My husband and I wanted to wait for the midwife (another one I had never met) to come, but after talking with our doula we decided to release the bag of waters to help the baby move down and encourage dilation.

At 9:55 the doctor released the bag of waters. I do remember that, because it seemed like he was in there for a long time, and it hurt! There was meconium and some light bleeding. Someone had me lie on my right side to try to relieve pressure that might have been on the umbilical cord. I had ear buds in with a relaxation script playing, and our doula provided comfort with massage.

Our midwife arrived at 10:10. Now when the baby's heart rate decelerated it sometimes got as low as the 50s before coming back up to normal. With my doula's help I moved to hands and knees position, again to avoid pressure on the cord. At 10:20 my husband discussed my preferences with our midwife and asked for me to be given every possibility to give birth vaginally, because it seemed that from the moment the doctor arrived he was preparing for a Cesarean birth.

At 10:35 I stood by the bed; I didn't always know how I wanted to be, but I did not want to be on the bed anymore. Now some of the decelerations were happening even when there wasn't a pressure wave, and some dropped into the 40s. My husband offered me sips of water, and I put my arms around his neck during pressure waves, which were coming anywhere from three to thirteen minutes apart. I felt really hot, so my doula and midwife helped me get my shirt over the I.V. cords so I could take it off and wear the shift only. I also put my hair in a ponytail and they turned a fan on.

I sat on the birth ball for a little while. My midwife was in the room when the doctor returned at 11:00 and said he felt "absolutely obligated to do a Cesarean." My husband continued talking with the midwife until 11:20. He also talked things over with our doula and requested time alone with her and me. We agreed that we had done everything we could and the baby needed to be born by C-section. When the midwife had checked my cervix for the last time she had said that the dilation was the same and now the baby was transverse. My sweet husband gave me a wonderful Priesthood blessing. Then the anesthesiologist and other women came into the room to prepare me for the surgery.

At 11:55 they had me sit in a wheelchair to go to the operating room. The midwife came, too. The anesthesiologist was very kind as she gave me the spinal epidural, and I enjoyed the numbness that made it feel comfortable to lie on my back. I think my arms were still shaking, as they did during the other Cesareans, but they were in a more comfortable place. I remember warm blankets over my arms, and I remember feeling more calm and happy compared to the disappointment of my first "failed" VBAC. My husband called my mom to tell her that we would have our baby soon. He put on scrubs and a mask and joined me at 12:05 AM.

Our daughter was born at 12:06 AM, only 11 minutes after I entered the operating room, so he got there just in time! She weighed 5 pounds 13 ounces (1 ounce less than Second Girl) and was 18.5 inches long (1.5 inches shorter than both First Girl and Second Girl) with a 35 cm head circumference. She looked like her sisters did as newborns, except she had a lot of dark hair.

Her Apgar scores were 9 and 9. As I found out later, the cord had been tightly around her neck, twice. Also, she pooped in three diapers within ten minutes. Before I could hold her for the first time, she had to have some help in the nursery for about two hours. She had swallowed meconium and she was retracting as she was breathing. My husband went with her and took some pictures and videos, and he came back to room 8 at 12:48, just before I did. Our doula stayed with me while he returned to be with our cute baby in the nursery.

I would have preferred not to have surgery, to be able to feel our baby come out, to be one of the first to hold her. But, knowing that we were doing what our little girl needed, I actually smiled during the operation. I was grateful for the way everyone treated me before, during, and after the birth. They knew what my preferences were and they were patient and respectful. I had no pitocin, and no drugs until the spinal.

The doctor came in later and kindly explained that he thought the need for a Cesarean may be related to the shape of the inside of my pelvis. We don't know about the shape because we have not had x-rays done, but we do know that our little babies are not "too big" to fit through my pelvis. He said he had put stitches, not staples, in my incision so that we could leave the hospital early to spend Christmas morning at home with all our kids.

At 1:30 my husband called my mom again to tell her about her granddaughter. Soon after that, our baby was able to join us, now that she was breathing much better. She learned how to breastfeed pretty quickly and she has been perfectly healthy. We LOVE having this girl in our family!

 

(two different cameras)

 

This was so sweet . . . pure adoration.

"BIG sister" shirts

baby #3 update: 27 weeks

I am 27 and a half weeks pregnant. My womb and my womb-mate are growing and measuring right on. I like to refer the prenatal development chart in one of my university textbooks. It says that Third Girl should now be about 14 inches long and weigh almost 2 pounds, with eyes that can open and close. I have gained 8 pounds (two of those in the last four weeks, and six in the four weeks before that). I don't remember how my weight gain was with the other pregnancies besides the total number of pounds, but it would probably be good if I gain about a pound or more per week until this baby is born. I wrote before that I was exercising most days. Since then, it's become closer to two or three days a week because . . . well, I think I have more days when I am just not in the mood to work out. It's more likely to happen if I do it in the morning, and it is easier and more enjoyable to read a book while walking on the treadmill than to do my 40-minute prenatal strength training DVD.

I'm grateful that I have not been having any nausea (since about 14 weeks), heartburn,  constipation, swelling, varicose veins, stretch marks (I have never gotten any), calf cramps, etc. I remember that several times during my first pregnancy I had to jump out of bed in the middle of the night to stand up because of the sudden pain in my calf. I haven't had strong food cravings or aversions. A few times during this pregnancy I have craved Mexican food or stuff from the olive bar at the grocery store. I have also been really enjoying green salads, berries, and Healthy Choice fudge bars, but I wouldn't call those cravings.

Sometimes I do:

• feel a little uncomfortable or back-achy by about 9 p.m. or earlier (stretching, walking around, or lying down can help)
• get a headache
• have a hard time falling asleep again after getting up to use the bathroom (or if one of our many apartment neighbors is noisy and wakes me up)
• have trouble breathing through my nose -- the last few days I have been more congested and blowing my nose, but it seems that we all have minor colds.

Also, I wrote that I don't want to be in a hospital for this baby's birth and that I have been seeing midwives at a birth center. I love the idea of being in labor without having to continually meet and be observed by new nurses and others who come in the room without warning. I feel that a woman in labor is not a "patient" and most of the time doesn't need a hospital (read the preface of this birth story). What do statistics mean to one individual, anyway?

Although I still would prefer to give birth in a birth center or at home, my husband and I know that unfortunately our insurance will not cover any of the delivery cost unless the care provider is a Certified Nurse-Midwife or obstetrician. The women at the birth center I have been going to are a different type of midwife, which means we would have to pay for the entire cost out of our own pockets. The one or two CNMs here who do out-of-hospital births are already booked. It is frustrating and makes no sense to me that our insurance would not reimburse us for any of the less-than-$3,000 cost (while they have covered each of my $10,000 c-sections). But my goal is to have a natural vaginal birth, and that can happen in a hospital. So I called my doula for advice, and we switched to CNMs. My doula didn't hesitate when answering my question about which hospital she thinks would be best for me personally (she is the same doula I had in 2006). Last week was my first appointment with one of the midwives at the clinic near that hospital. They are very supportive of birth without drugs or medical interventions and they are very pro-VBAC. The hospital has the lowest epidural rate in the state and is "Baby-friendly" (I was not aware of this before and I think it's fantastic!). My husband and I both really like this midwife and are confident that the others in the practice are excellent, too. She recommended a certain Webster Certified chiropractor -- someone trained to work specifically with pelvic balance in pregnancy -- actually the very same chiropractor I already starting seeing for adjustments. It will be helpful to the midwives to have a copy of my records from my last birth and from the birth center, and I am looking forward to receiving my own copy. (FYI, you can simply go in and get your own medical records for free.) I've been told it is hard to overcome "the failure to progress scenario", but we are thinking positively.

I have spent and continue to spend many hours studying the normal process of labor -- the way women's (and babies') bodies were designed for babies to come out. I'm re-reading the book Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I cannot recommend it enough. I also have learned a lot from the films The Business of Being Born and Orgasmic Birth (Don't avoid this just because of the title. The idea is that giving birth can be a good and enjoyable experience. There is a shorter version called Organic Birth.), and about 5-10 facebook groups including the one for Birth Without Fear.

Why do I want to stay at home until I am in active labor? Why don't I want an epidural or something? The mind and the body are closely connected. For me and my baby, I want to let the natural hormones of labor flow. I want to have a comfortable environment with as much freedom and privacy as possible, and minimal interruptions and interventions. From Orgasmic Birth:   

The pain down here gets sent up to the brain, the brain releases hormones which go down here to the uterus and tell the uterus what to do or not to do. And if you take away the pain, the whole normal physiology is gone (Marsden Wagner, M.D.). 

[M]any of the interventions that are commonly used in maternity care today will reduce the release of these hormones in a laboring woman’s body and make her birth less ecstatic, less pleasurable, and actually less safe for herself and her baby (Sarah Buckley, M.D.).

What if you numbed your feet and then you were supposed to walk down a highway? You'd have difficulty walking down the highway. . . . If your birth canal is numb, it doesn't work the same way (Christiane Northrup, M.D.).

Besides the change of providers, there is something else that has changed. Unless another idea comes to us, we chose Third Girl's name! We will give her both a first name and a middle name, like our other kids have. As always, nobody but my husband and I will know the name until the baby is born. Sometimes when we leave my mom's place, she says to my belly, "What's your name?" or "Goodbye, Gertrude. :o)

Finally, some photos:

I had fun comparing some photos of my bump during the last pregnancy and this one. (We really didn't do any belly profile pictures during my first pregnancy, except for a photo shoot my friend Anne did about 2 months before my due date). My mom's neighbor was surprised that this baby is a girl, because just like last time, she thinks I look like I'm carrying a boy. Also, it's definitely impossible at this point to make my abdomen appear non-pregnant. A couple of days ago a cute old man asked me, "Is that a basketball or a watermelon?" I said watermelon, but when I get a moment I try to picture her tiny human body inside of me and express our love for her. I wonder exactly what each movement is. I swear, at least twice she has kicked in response to something I said about her. For example, when I had my hand on my belly and said to the other kids, "I have a big belly with a baby inside," I immediately felt her kick beneath my hand. I'm doing my best to enjoy the next three months with her inside me. We will have plenty of time with her on the outside.

the first half of my third pregnancy

I have passed the 20-week mark! To my husband, this pregnancy may feel long because he will be living with me the whole time. Hooray! Because of deployments, he had to miss the first half of my first pregnancy, and the second half of my second pregnancy except for the last few days and the first few days of her life.

I have been feeling good. In July I started going to a chiropractor twice a month to keep my pelvis aligned. Doulas, my midwife, and others recommend chiropractic care because it can help the mom feel more comfortable and help the baby have room to develop and to be in the best position for birth, which can make labor and birth easier. I exercise most days. Some days I walk on our treadmill or outside (I still run but only a little, because the chiropractor said that it might cause or worsen a headache), and the other days I use the Prenatal Fitness Fix DVD I bought in 2006.

My only pregnancy complaint that isn't minor is that I feel more tired. I need more sleep -- sometimes I nap, and I usually sleep eight to nine hours at night, even though I'd like to be able to get up sooner. I had minor morning any-time-of-day sickness in my first trimester but there was only one day when I threw up. It was actual sickness for about 24 hours, accompanied by a bad headache. I only get heartburn when I'm pregnant. Thankfully I've had it a lot less often and less severely during this pregnancy compared to my other pregnancies. 

These are the vitamins I am taking and plan to take while breastfeeding (read here to find out why they do not contain any folic acid. I do eat foods that naturally contain folate.):

As you can see below, my uterus has grown, although at my last appointment I still had not gained any weight. We took belly pictures at 10 and 14 weeks, but they must have been on the phone that was stolen when I accidentally left it at the library. Around 14 weeks I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time, my belly button "popped out," and I started to feel the baby's movements. I feel movements more frequently now, reminding me that there's really a person inside of me! It is amazing.

April 27, 2011: almost 6 weeks pregnant, or

3 or 4 weeks since conception. (I took a test 

April 18, just two days after running the 

half-marathon, and it said I was not pregnant,

which disappointed me.)

6 weeks pregnant, holding my belly in.

 I adore these maternity jeans and

I want to have them on for each

belly picture that we take.

I think I have more than 20 weeks of pregnancy left. {With my first pregnancy, I went into labor on my estimated due date. However, it was at 41 weeks since my l.m.p. After seeing the baby's measurements from the ultrasound, my o.b. moved my due date to a week later. With my second baby, I went into labor 2 days before the due date.} Baby number three is measuring a little small and may be born closer to January 2nd instead of December 27th, according to the ultrasound tech. We had the ultrasound on August 3rd and brought both of our girls with us. Even though it is our third baby, the ultrasound was really cool to see, as the baby bent its leg, moved its arms up by its head, and swallowed amniotic fluid. The heart and all other body parts look normal. The spine is one of my favorite things to see. We also wanted to find out the gender. Scroll down and you will see what it is!

arms (crossed) and face

 left arm and hand, face (couldn't capture a profile)

foot and calf

leg, bum, and spine

Girl parts . . .  we'll have three girls!
Now we have to settle on a name.

I chose different midwives this time because I don't want to go to a hospital. A new friend of mine has given birth to four children at home, and she gave me a couple of phone numbers. I plan on letting my labor start spontaneously, not leaving home too soon, and giving birth vaginally (a VBA2C, which means vaginal birth after two cesareans) in the beautiful birth center that I go to for my prenatal care. My husband and I are going to attend Hypnobabies classes there starting when I am about 28 weeks pregnant. One of my midwives said I have a good chance of having a VBAC if I can fully relax (hence her Hypnobabies recommendation) and if I use Spinning Babies to encourage the baby to be in the ideal position for birth. I have not done any Hypnobabies (or Hypnobirthing, which is different) before, and I knew about Spinning Babies during my second pregnancy but didn't read or use much of that information. Maybe this daughter will be born in the birth center's nice deep tub. What will we name her? Will she be born in 2011 or 2012? I don't know those answers, but I'm excited.

my first half marathon!

BACKGROUND:

I disliked running in high school; it was hard because I wasn't in shape. During the year following my graduation from high school, a couple of different girls I was friends with (one at home, one when I was away at college) asked me to work out with them. That was motivating. Before my now-husband went to Basic Training I ran with him to prepare him for that. I remember that when we started it was a challenge to even run for two minutes, walk for one minute, run for two minutes, walk for one minute, etc.

Basically, I have wanted to run a half marathon since my husband really got into running during his first deployment and ran a half marathon in August 2006. I have been training for mine on and off since the end of last summer. The last race I participated in before the half marathon (13.1 miles) was a 6k (3.72 miles) six months ago. By that point the longest I had ever run was probably 7 miles. My 10 km race (6.2 miles) was two years before that.


HOW I TRAINED:

In addition to a long run once a week (usually Monday), I usually ran two or three times a week for at least 30 minutes. I usually ran on the treadmill, either during L's nap or right when I woke up, if both kids were sleeping. For the long run, I did it outside when I could, with my husband watching the kids. I prefer running outside while listening to music, but it's kind of fun watching a movie while I run on our treadmill, and I like being able to look at my pace. A 9-and-a-half-minute mile is pretty comfortable for me, and I like sprinting for twenty or thirty seconds -- sometimes when I feel like I want to slow down I speed up instead. I always skip exercise on Sundays, and I probably always rested the day after a long run. On the other days that I didn't run, I would either 1) walk enough to warm up, and then do strength training exercises or yoga, or 2) not do any exercise, besides housework, of course.

WHAT I ATE:

Since November (when I started reading the book Eat to Live) I have been eating mainly leafy vegetables, other green vegetables, fruits, beans, nuts, seeds, and whole grains. I've eaten meat, dairy and eggs only rarely. I drink water and non-dairy milks.

For dinner the night before the half marathon I ate pasta (the Pad Thai pictured here) -- I found out that runners are supposed to "carb load" soon before the race. In the morning I was up at 5:30 and followed the Medical Director's advice which was in the e-mail they sent to all participants: I drank about 16 ounces of water right away. At 6:00 (one hour before the race would start) I ate; I think it was just almond butter on whole wheat bread. I drank more water while my little family and I drove to the starting line.

THE RACE:

I was excited and a little cold as we waited to start. It was pretty perfect weather, actually, not too sunny in the morning, and we got rained on, but not until 9:20. I liked hearing about the history of this marathon/half marathon. The number of participants has gone up each year -- this year over 1000 people ran the full marathon and over 4000 ran the half. I didn't know anybody around me and I didn't say much, but I listened to others chatting. Near the end I said hello to the three women from my neighborhood who I knew were going to be there running.  I was sad that I couldn't find them for a group picture when we were done (they finished before me . . . and one of them just had a baby 11 months ago!). My step-sister who was born the same year as me also ran the half, and we didn't find out until hours later that the other one was there! She did well, too.

So how did I do? I felt really good until my legs started to feel sore for about the last mile; I was still able to run some of that mile, though. I ran past my mom and younger sister, who were watching, about a minute before I finished; I found my husband and daughters a few minutes after. I had wanted my time to be 2:10 or less, because that would be a 10-minute mile (in my October race I averaged about 9:43 per mile). I am very happy with my time anyway: 2 hours and 16 minutes, which I suppose counts the time I spent waiting for and using a port-o-potty. It was a 10:24 pace according to the timing chip. I was faster than about 39% of all the half marathon runners, and faster than 41% of those in my age division. I did take fewer and shorter walking breaks than I did during my four or five training runs that were 10-12 miles long.

I think the next time I run a half marathon I will do a few things differently. I'll go to sleep earlier the night before. During the race I'll keep something like GU with me, not just a water bottle. I will do more stretching afterward. Also, I would love to run one with my husband running next to me.

thankful month: days 29 and 30

It's the last day of November already?! During the last couple of days I have been most grateful for:

• The amazing human body and all that it does (see HERE). I am very thankful that I have a body. I am thankful for my senses, especially for the ability to feel a hug, smell good smells, and hear the voices of my loved ones. I am thankful I can feel refreshed after sleeping at night.
• The fact that I enjoy domestic responsibilities such as cleaning my house and creating meals. (My first lasagna {recipe HERE} turned out great. Why did I wait this long?)
• People forgiving each other and not dwelling on the other's little faults.
• People!including those who inspire me to live differently, and nice strangers I interact with in places like the grocery store.