winter "denotes there is a God"

I took this photo at home in December 2010.

Winter will technically be over in less than a week, but it's still cold here -- at least when it's the beginning of the day, the end of the day, or the wind is blowing. I want to make the effort to enjoy and live in the present more. Part of being in the present is appreciating the current season rather than wanting to be in the next one already. Winter actually felt shorter to me this time around. . . .

Here is what inspired me to write about the symbolism I see in winter: One morning in December, I think the week before Christmas, I drove our minivan out of the parking spot to leave our apartment complex. It was time for First Girl to go to school. I went almost to the first turn, and then pulled over to the side and stopped. Since I had not parked in our covered spot, there was frost, and I had to scrape more of it off the van's windows. I told the girls that I needed to see the road and everything well so that I could be a safe driver, and that the sunshine might help warm the car and melt the frost a tiny bit faster. I thought, "The sun melts frost, and the Son melts spiritual frost." My heart often feels like it should be warmer. I don't want to be hard-hearted or prideful, but sometimes I am. I know that when we repent, partaking of the sacrament each week cleanses us and removes the darkness. I want more light and I want to be more like Him, the Creator and the light of the world.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said in a BYU devotional:

Ultimate wisdom enables us to see Jesus as the Light of the World, but, further, we also come to realize that it is by his light that we are to see everything else! The gospel’s bright and illuminating light thereby helps us see God, ourselves, others, the world, and the universe more correctly and more deeply.

That day in December was before I knew much about the movie Frozen, which we still haven't seen but plan to, and the various interpretations adults have had about it. So, the Spirit was teaching me. I didn't get the idea from anyone else, they just know, too, what the Savior can do. "There is a redeemer who can melt our frozen hearts," Stephen Sizer wrote in his article about Frozen. The pure love of Christ can do a lot.

Then on March 1st something else touched me. We were at our eight-year-old neighbor boy's baptism. It had been a difficult morning getting the kids ready without my husband, and when we arrived the priesthood holder was baptizing the boy. We barely missed seeing it. But even though my kids weren't behaving during the talks, I am glad I was there. Sister Christensen gave a great talk (I'd like to read the whole thing) about the gift of the Holy Ghost. She mentioned that when we feel darkness and coldness in our lives we can pray for the Holy Ghost to comfort us. "Darkness and coldness" stood out to me. Sometimes I don't look to the light (by earnestly praying to my Heavenly Father), or I have negative, even unkind "icy" thoughts that I shouldn't let stay for as long as I do. I hope my little family sees warmth and light in me, like I see in them when I look at their faces.

I believe winter denotes there is a God, because all of nature does. In the Book of Mormon, Alma 30:43-44 says:

And now Korihor said unto Alma: If thou wilt show me a sign, that I may be convinced that there is a God, yea, show unto me that he hath power, and then will I be convinced of the truth of thy words.
But Alma said unto him: Thou hast had signs enough; will ye tempt your God? Will ye say, Show unto me a sign, when ye have the testimony of all these thy brethren, and also all the holy prophets? The scriptures are laid before thee, yea, and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator.

(I'm sorry if I'm not connecting these thoughts well. I'm publishing the post anyway.)

When it was the middle of winter, we had snow that stayed on the ground. Don't you love the snow when it's new, pure white, and slightly sparkly? It reminded me that because of Jesus Christ, "though your sins be as scarlet they shall be as white as snow." Each winter I get to see how white that really is.

I also absolutely love the song Every Season by Nichole Nordeman. I first heard it on this Kenneth Cope album. Nichole wrote:

Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice you in children's games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice you when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and what's to come
You are autumn

And everything in time and under Heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you when branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, you open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything that's new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
And what was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with you and how you make me new
With every season's change
And so it will be as you are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

the two of us

Wow. It's the middle of September! I have never gone this long between posts, and I know my last two were short. Thanks for reading. Here is the first of some updates on our family.  



:: me ::

Mother's Day 2013

With two of my siblings on my mom's birthday -- I stole my friend's idea (she did it for her dad) by having people write my mom letters, and she said it was the best gift she has ever received. That makes me happy.

Hmm, what to say about myself. . . . I'm enjoying my life. The hours and the weeks go by pretty fast. Summer vacation was super fast but wonderful. I love being a stay-at-home mom and I am so grateful I get to spend a lot of time with these angels (we're working on them being angelic when we ask them to put their things away or do other things that they don't want to do). They make me smile and laugh often. I like that they have friends in the neighborhood that they play with often, too, and grandparents nearby to help us. I get a little bit of time to myself in the morning, at least enough to pray and read The Book of Mormon. I can also have alone time after the kids are in bed on most of the nights when my husband is working. It's nice that he's home by 9 or 10 p.m. usually. I like watching a show on Netflix with him, but I also like when we just talk.

Lately I have been exercising for 30-40 minutes some time before lunch, 4-6 days a week. It's usually closer to 6 days a week than 4, of running or HIIT cardio or both. In spite of that, I have a belly that sticks out. It's not my fault that I look pregnant, I guess -- it's because of my umbilical hernia and diastasis recti (separation of the abdominal muscles). I am definitely not pregnant. There's probably some fat there but I don't know how much because of whatever weird stuff is happening underneath. I can grab a little fat on my inner thighs, but there isn't any anywhere else. Well, I found a lot of diastasis recti information on youtube, including exercises to heal it, so I'm doing them as part of my strength training 3 days a week. I have "before" pictures but not enough has changed to take "after" pictures. I am trying to eat even more like the Eat to Live weight loss plan, which includes fewer grains/starches and processed foods and more vegetables (especially cruciferous ones). And I am trying to be patient with my body even though it's been a while since I gave birth. The other day I talked to my midwife, who referred me to a doctor that I will meet with this Friday to get more information about getting laparascopic surgery to make my belly flatter like it used to be.


:: him ::

June 2013

September 2013

My cute husband is still working hard at his three jobs. He did not get the railroad job he wanted, and we don't know why they didn't even interview him. But he did basically get an offer for something different, a position we had sort of given up on because it had been so long. It's still taking a while but it might happen: he might be a highway patrol trooper! Apparently they are always doing the hiring process, so he is on the list or his file is in the stack or whatever, and when they need him they will call. First he had an interview -- actually, I think it was two. Then we turned in his packet for the background check in November. Yep, ten months ago. In February they told us that a lot of people had applied, so we would have to wait a few extra weeks. Then they actually did the background check, and an employee met with him in our home. On May 23rd they talked about why he wants to be a trooper, and they gave him a piece of paper that is a conditional offer of employment. He took a polygraph test, psychological evaluation (both of those the hardest things he has ever done), and a physical all in the week before leaving with his unit for Annual Training. Another three months have passed. . . . He doesn't want to continue forever with what he's doing, and he has hard days (with his depression) every once in a while probably more often than I realize, but the Lord is blessing us. My husband is in very good shape physically because he really wants to get a certain score on his next Army PT test. He works out early before his full time job and told me he likes that he's "a runner," which he hasn't been in a few years. 

Side note: he and I have never lived together this long before. Between his deployments we had almost three years together. But now he has been back for three years and four months.


:: us ::

This summer he decided that we needed to get away to relax without the kids for more than just a couple of hours. I agreed. So we went on an approximately 26-hour date and had a really great time. It was Friday to Saturday August 9th-10th. {Third Girl survived that time without breastfeeding (I was fine too), and was happy to continue when she saw me again. My goal is two years.} Since some of our little family had been sick back in April when it was our anniversary, and D and I never did much to celebrate, this was like a 4-months-late anniversary vacation. I'm not sure if we will take the whole family on a trip any time soon, which is okay. It will just be that much more exciting and special when we finally do, right? Anyway, here are some of the pictures from our big date! It was so nice to be in the hot tub and pool at night. This was also his first time in a tram, he thinks, and his first time rock climbing, which surprised me. I love being married to him.

It was  cold and gorgeous.

My view as I walked out of the lodge to start my morning run.

I overcame my fear on the ropes course. I walked on most of the areas.

Although this doesn't show any of the bikers, it was neat being at one of the Tour of Utah venues! I want a bike. . . . Also, we might have felt the need to return to our kids sooner if it were not for the road being closed in the afternoon. :)

(My hair flips out if I don't straighten it. And he's even better-looking than he seems in some photos.)

He had the day off for Labor Day so he and I did some good work on our home, with the kids helping, too. We rotated our rug so the couch covers the stains. And we switched bedrooms with the kids (this took more than one day, and a lot of it was done by Saturday night). It's much better! We haven't taken pictures yet, but not all of the items, wall decorations, etc. are in place. We have the smaller bedroom but it's nice that it has a bigger closet, and the three girls have more room to play in their room now.

We are still in a 2-bedroom apartment, even though at first we thought we would only stay for a year or so. We just signed a new lease, our fourth one, because we're waiting to hear about which city he will be working in. Anyway, these changes are good. We like the layout of the furniture better now; changing bedrooms helped it feel kind of like a new place. One day soon after Labor Day he swept and straightened up the patio, I gave the toddler's seat (not quite a high chair) a bath and did three loads of laundry, etc. I still need to thoroughly clean the blinds. We got rid of junk including shirts I've had a long long time, and some toys and other kid things. I'm pretty sure that I have blogged before about the fact that it's hard for me to let go of stuff. I have gotten better with my husband's help. We know we made the right decision by not moving out yet. We had actually told the people at the leasing office that we planned to move out September 14th, but it wouldn't have been worth the stress and the other costs, since we would likely move again less than a year later. It's good to be able to still serve in this ward, where my husband has only taught Gospel Doctrine class a few times so far. I also have a fairly new calling.

snowy January + Valentine's Day 2013

I took some winter photos on January 12-13th. We still had our Christmas stuff up (because of my hubby's work hours, basically). The snow and ice can be very beautiful, even if the view of our apartment buildings isn't!

My, what a bright orange coat you have, neighbor!

Looking out from the fitness center.

 

 

P.S. I miss Taylor's family already. He's the boy that Shboogoo was playing with when she was hitting the snow with our yard stick. Weird girl. Oh, and Taylor's mom Lisa, whom I visit taught, drove Shboogoo to and from school each day for two weeks during this colder-than-normal January. My husband was using our minivan as we waited to get our car fixed. Lisa served me more than I served her, and I am very thankful for her. I'm happy that they were able to move close to her husband's new job.

Now for the Valentine-y stuff. I always think about how it was close to Valentine's Day when my friend introduced me to D at a school dance. . . . February 13th was the date that his unit told him he would be deployed (for the first time), but on that day the next year his 2-week leave began. . . . This year, our February 13th lunch included a heart-shaped piece of red bell pepper. That night my hubby and I had our traditional Valentine's Day dinner date, and it was really fun (but no photos). It's always nice to not be interrupted by any of our kids. You don't see him in this post, but I love him so much. He is my best friend. We can hardly remember not knowing each other.

I had pinned instructions for making heart-shaped carrots slices. I didn't end up doing that, but we did make a heart-shaped pizza (a few days later, one of the evenings when their daddy was working). Just a little cheese on the kids' part and nutritional yeast instead on my part. The crust wasn't as good as the rest of it. Maybe I did something wrong because it didn't seem to rise, and I'm pretty sure that after that, I left in the fridge too long before finally baking it. The kids had fun helping, though.

We gave Shboogoo's class fruit leathers for the Valentine's Day party (like we did for Halloween). I didn't take a picture of the finished ones, but I had cut out a heart from leftover scrapbook paper to tape on each one. On the heart I wrote, "I love being in class with you! Love, [Shboogoo]."

I took some pictures of my little Valentines. I can never have too many photos of them. I put C in her heart vest and "I love Grandma" shirt from Nana (the vest came with a different top and pants). Shboogoo had planned on wearing a dark pink shirt that has a big heart on it, and L has a cute magenta and gray outfit with hearts on it. It would've been so cute with all three kids like that (and I was in pink, too), but in the morning on Valentine's Day they decided they really wanted to wear their red owl outfits instead. D worked two jobs that day, so my next-door neighbor took the photos that I was in. 

This is what the kids looked like last year, when C was only about 8 weeks old.

(Here's where I wanted to put the Valentine's Day 2011 photo, but I haven't been able to find it yet. I left this post sitting here for over a week.)

As long as I'm reminiscing, I also like {these} winter photos I took a few years ago. I'm really proud of the one below, which I took on December 20, 2010 -- even though I know very little about cameras. If I want to act like I'm more of an expert, I should say I "shot" it, shouldn't I? :o)

September {2012}

Like the posts I created about June/July and August, this shows only some, not all, of our photos and activities for the month.

For us the most significant event in September was the beginning of our first child's public education. Kindergarten! She enjoyed the testing they did with her in August, and the kindergarten open house, and she was so excited to start. She had to wait longer than a lot of kids, since her birthday is November. Except for falling down and hurting her forehead on the first day of gym, she loves school. She loves to tell me about what they do and which girls are her favorite. We have this conversation while we walk home after her three-hour school day (it's two hours on short day). I've noticed -- maybe it changed as the newness of school wore off -- that she only tells me a few of the things they did. I often have to ask if I want to know. It's been good to make sure I read with her and her sisters for twenty minutes each day. Sadly, we hadn't been spending that much time on books. But I'm impressed by the words she knew how to read even before school began, and I'm impressed by her speed when she does it. My husband had the idea recently to have her read the first verse of our nightly Book of Mormon reading, after she watches one of us read it.

watching the other students

one of her fancy hairstyles for school

I participated in birth junkie stuff two days in a row. First, an Improving Birth National Rally for Change, with took place on Labor Day (get it?). One of my friends who was there was born on Labor Day, too.

 

The purpose of this annual event is to encourage all maternal health care providers to practice evidence-based care. You can click on Improving Birth's web site for more information, and also watch this 3-minute video I got from there. Did you know that in the United States the maternal mortality rate (number of women per 1000 who die of causes related to childbirth) has increased in the last twenty years or so?


Second was an ICAN meeting (two of my ICAN friends had also been at the rally). We decided to include our families this time, not just the ladies. We ended up not talking much about what we usually talk about, but it was fun being at the park and meeting the husbands and kids.

 

my birthday. My sister and I and our kids played in the water at a park. I had invited a few friends but they weren't able to make it. Then my husband and I had a date (no photos): window shopping at a mall and laughing at silly gifts for sale, then eating dinner at Zupa's. He, my little sister, my visiting teacher and another friend in our ward gave me presents, and my parents gave me money.

 

 

 

 

fall leaves. We don't hike often enough, I decided. (I did narrow down the number of photos . . . lots of good ones!)

 

 

 

 

 

 
other September stuff:

 

 

 

 

Our new friend Lisa E. gave us this double stroller. Our kids are in the same school class, but the first words we spoke were when we passed at the entrance to our apartments. She said, "I have a double stroller we're not using. Do you want it?" It's great to have one again because baby C was sometimes sweaty in the carrier during our walk to/from the school. I like this seating better than the side-by-side double stroller we got rid of.

 

It was Family Day at my husband's unit. Since we weren't at a park this time, he actually got to teach the girls about what he does :) He showed us the equipment and trucks, and let the the kids take turns sitting in the driver's seat.