beautiful quotes

Probably my favorite part of Elder Holland's April 2016 LDS General Conference talk (which I've listened to a few times including yesterday) was:

If we give our heart to God, if we love the Lord Jesus Christ, if we do the best we can to live the gospel, then tomorrow—and every other day—is ultimately going to be magnificent, even if we don’t always recognize it as such. Why? Because our Heavenly Father wants it to be! He wants to bless us. A rewarding, abundant, and eternal life is the very object of His merciful plan for His children! It is a plan predicated on the truth “that all things work together for good to them that love God.”

Then this morning before 1:00 church, I listened for the third time to Sister Neill F. Marriott's talk from the General Women's Session that was part of the same conference. Actually, I had searched on the Gospel Library app for the word "baby" and found the talk.

Let me interrupt myself.  

About those New Year's Resolutions . . . I am trying to improve with them. #5 and #7 are already done. But the one about getting up by 7 a.m. has been hard. Why? Because I'm pregnant! I could have just over two weeks left (that's when my guess date is). I love pregnancy and I feel like once she's born -- a fourth girl! -- I might miss having her inside moving around. We're all really excited to meet her, though!

January 2, a few days before my expected period (but I knew that I was pregnant)

So that's why I want to keep hearing or reading positive thoughts and stories about pregnancy, birth, and newborns.

Here's what Sister Marriott said:

Mothers literally make room in their bodies to nurture an unborn baby—and hopefully a place in their hearts as they raise them—but nurturing is not limited to bearing children. Eve was called a “mother” before she had children. I believe that “to mother” means “to give life.” Think of the many ways you give life. It could mean giving emotional life to the hopeless or spiritual life to the doubter. With the help of the Holy Ghost, we can create an emotionally healing place for the discriminated against, the rejected, and the stranger. In these tender yet powerful ways, we build the kingdom of God.

what 3-year-old C said to me today

This morning after my husband left to take First Girl and Second Girl to school, I closed the door, turned to Third Girl, and said like I do nearly every week day, "It's [C] and Mommy time!"

C said, "Yayyyyy!"

me: Do you love C and Mommy time?

C (smiling): Yes! You're so adorable. I just want to eat you.

Yep, we are so happy when we're together. I was away in another room to make this blog post, but actually played a video from facebook first, and then I could hear her crying. She wanted me to sit and watch Signing Time with her. I did, arms around her the whole time. It felt so good.

my friend Andrea

Last week I found something in my old Bible -- the one I got when I was ten and that I want to get the inserts from to transfer to my new one. What I found was the program for my friend Andrea's funeral. I saw that she passed away July 22nd, three years ago. Her husband had checked on her when she was asleep, but her spirit was gone. . . . I have memories of her in Young Women with me on Sundays and on Tuesday nights -- a rock climbing activity stands out to me -- and at camps. I think "service" when I think of her; we served each other. She needed a lot of service from her family because she was born with spina bifida and had to use a wheelchair. One way she served was with her great smile.

See? Great smile.

I love the way she kept in touch with everybody after high school. I mean everybody, because it seems that she was friends with all types of people. She called me regularly to chat from about 2004 on. I learned at her funeral that she had about 200 friends that she called probably at least once a month, but I felt special to her. I didn't always know what to talk about when she called, and she sometimes asked me questions that were hard to answer and explain, like about what it was like being pregnant and being a mom (I don't remember specifics). She said that she wanted to know because she wouldn't be able to be a mom. I remember telling her one evening that I was making bean burgers, and she had never heard of bean burgers but didn't say anything negative. She wanted to understand people, I think, and she is an example of how to listen and "love thy neighbor as thyself." She was a sweetheart and so is the man she married.

I also think about the fact that three years before Andrea passed away, her brother did. I attended his funeral to show support to her. I felt the Spirit and love very strongly at both funerals. Her parents are sure going to have a wonderful reunion after many years apart from their kids. (They lost another son, too, and I actually don't know that story but I think he might have been stillborn.)

It was neat that on July 22nd a familiar song came and played in my mind -- a song that Kenneth Cope wrote about a different girl named Andrea. I think my friend Andrea saw beyond the stars, too. I'm looking forward to seeing her run or do cartwheels or whatever she wants when she is resurrected, with a laugh and a smile on her face!

You can hear part of the song here: http://kennethcope.com/albums/stories-from-edens-garden/

ANDREA

(written by Kenneth Cope)

—for Andrea Goodman and family—

Andrea—you wear the smile of paradise

Andrea—you see beyond the stars

Ever reminding me that angels aren’t that far

My Andrea

Andrea—you wear the wings of innocence

It’s like you don’t belong here on the ground

But then there might be some of us who’d never reach the clouds

Without Andrea

And if day turns into gray

If hope hides far away

I know an angel I can go to for a smile

And that haze that has me blind

Will fade from my mind

Just from the thought of you

My Andrea

Andrea—you’re hoping for a better world

You long to be with Jesus in the sky

And I believe you’re going to see what you desire

My Andrea

Andrea—we feared that we had lost you

Gone without a chance to say “Good-bye”

But thanks to God you’ve come back to stay a while

My Andrea

And if day turns into gray

If hope hides far away

I know an angel I can go to for a smile

And that haze that has me blind

Will fade from my mind

Just from the thought of you

My Andrea

When day turns into gray

When hope hides far away

Then I remember how I feel when you are near

And my heart starts to rise

And light fills these eyes

All from the thought of you

From the love of you

My Andrea

Andrea—teach me the smile of paradise

© 1998 Mohrgüd Music (BMI)

a Throwback Thursday collage

I have been doing some pondering today, and I have felt joy. I have been thinking about new friendships, friendship in general, and ways to serve. Those thoughts and those things make me happy. I overheard two smiling mothers as they passed each other outside of First Girl's school: "How are you?" "I don't even know." "Yeah, seriously." For some reason hearing that made me happy, too. I ate garlicky brussels sprouts before eating the rest of my breakfast. I did some laundry (the kitchen still needs some work). I ran two miles in twenty one minutes while our younger daughters played near me in the fitness center. I've been praying more lately and feeling more hope. And the book I'm reading, The Gift of Giving Life, has given me a better "big picture" perspective about life. When I was looking at twitter, where I don't have a photo across the top (I dislike their new look), I thought maybe I would make a collage for that. I love how it turned out but actually decided on something simpler for my twitter page. It was really fun to look at some of our older photos and to be grateful for those memories. So this is a #tbt -- Throwback Thursday. The sheet music in the background is for the song we danced to at our wedding reception in 2004, but I started to learn how to play the piano when I was seven. (I love Jerome Kern and the sweet lyrics, and loved having Roger play the piano!) I still treasure the feeling of being in the Los Angeles temple with my husband in 2006 when I was pregnant; that was a wonderful night. The top middle photo of the collage is from 2008 when I ran a 10k. The bottom left was taken in 2011, and the others are a little more recent. C is here twice simply because the newborn picture reminds me of when each of our children were newborns, and the beauty of each new life. I always wanted to be a mom. The collage represents some of me, my life, and what is special to me.

a tender conversation between First Girl and Second Girl

Our kids had kind of a hard day today.

In the morning I could tell First Girl needed to keep sleeping and go to school late, if at all. I wasn't sure if she was getting a bit of a cold from her sisters. I think she slept until about 9 a.m. She's usually up by 8, which I know is not very early, but I have gotten in a habit of finishing their bedtime routine after 9 p.m. We didn't rush to eat breakfast. I saw that she didn't have a runny nose, and I didn't hear her cough (but Third Girl definitely did) . . . Anyway, she wanted to go to school, and we dropped her off at 11:30.

An hour later Second Girl was hurrying to the van so I could drive her to preschool, and she fell onto the sidewalk and scraped her elbow. That was after I'd already held her and calmed her down because she didn't really want to go for some reason. I know she enjoys her friends there and explained that she only has two weeks left in that class. Well, then she got another owie before dinner. It was strange how it happened. In the public restroom in D.I. she was raising and lowering the diaper changing table for fun. It wouldn't stay up (closed) and she ended up getting hit with it right between her eye and her temple.

First Girl, being the sweet sister and daughter that she is, helped me by trying to make Second girl happy while I tried on clothes. Oh, and we were all crammed into the little dressing room with the shopping cart, which I should have left out of the room, and they were hungry, and Second Girl wanted to watch Strawberry Shortcake (this one). In spite of the unpleasant things, they had this tender conversation afterward. It warmed my heart and I am grateful that it wasn't the only time they've talked about the gospel. I am so proud of them.

First Girl: Aren't you glad we chose Heavenly Father's plan?

Second Girl: [Yeah.] I'm glad we didn't get real tattoos [at the international fair last night] because Heavenly Father doesn't want us to get real tattoos.*

. . .

First Girl: Imagine how it would be not to be able to run and --

Second Girl: My favorite exercise is running.

First Girl: Yeah, and imagine how it would be if you couldn't. . . .

Second Girl: And we wouldn't be able to be with our mommy.

. . .

First Girl: If we had followed Satan we wouldn't have a family . . . Let's not talk about that.

Second Girl: It's okay to talk about Jesus.

First Girl: You're adorable.

_______

*https://www.lds.org/topics/tattooing?lang=eng

the two of us

Wow. It's the middle of September! I have never gone this long between posts, and I know my last two were short. Thanks for reading. Here is the first of some updates on our family.  



:: me ::

Mother's Day 2013

With two of my siblings on my mom's birthday -- I stole my friend's idea (she did it for her dad) by having people write my mom letters, and she said it was the best gift she has ever received. That makes me happy.

Hmm, what to say about myself. . . . I'm enjoying my life. The hours and the weeks go by pretty fast. Summer vacation was super fast but wonderful. I love being a stay-at-home mom and I am so grateful I get to spend a lot of time with these angels (we're working on them being angelic when we ask them to put their things away or do other things that they don't want to do). They make me smile and laugh often. I like that they have friends in the neighborhood that they play with often, too, and grandparents nearby to help us. I get a little bit of time to myself in the morning, at least enough to pray and read The Book of Mormon. I can also have alone time after the kids are in bed on most of the nights when my husband is working. It's nice that he's home by 9 or 10 p.m. usually. I like watching a show on Netflix with him, but I also like when we just talk.

Lately I have been exercising for 30-40 minutes some time before lunch, 4-6 days a week. It's usually closer to 6 days a week than 4, of running or HIIT cardio or both. In spite of that, I have a belly that sticks out. It's not my fault that I look pregnant, I guess -- it's because of my umbilical hernia and diastasis recti (separation of the abdominal muscles). I am definitely not pregnant. There's probably some fat there but I don't know how much because of whatever weird stuff is happening underneath. I can grab a little fat on my inner thighs, but there isn't any anywhere else. Well, I found a lot of diastasis recti information on youtube, including exercises to heal it, so I'm doing them as part of my strength training 3 days a week. I have "before" pictures but not enough has changed to take "after" pictures. I am trying to eat even more like the Eat to Live weight loss plan, which includes fewer grains/starches and processed foods and more vegetables (especially cruciferous ones). And I am trying to be patient with my body even though it's been a while since I gave birth. The other day I talked to my midwife, who referred me to a doctor that I will meet with this Friday to get more information about getting laparascopic surgery to make my belly flatter like it used to be.


:: him ::

June 2013

September 2013

My cute husband is still working hard at his three jobs. He did not get the railroad job he wanted, and we don't know why they didn't even interview him. But he did basically get an offer for something different, a position we had sort of given up on because it had been so long. It's still taking a while but it might happen: he might be a highway patrol trooper! Apparently they are always doing the hiring process, so he is on the list or his file is in the stack or whatever, and when they need him they will call. First he had an interview -- actually, I think it was two. Then we turned in his packet for the background check in November. Yep, ten months ago. In February they told us that a lot of people had applied, so we would have to wait a few extra weeks. Then they actually did the background check, and an employee met with him in our home. On May 23rd they talked about why he wants to be a trooper, and they gave him a piece of paper that is a conditional offer of employment. He took a polygraph test, psychological evaluation (both of those the hardest things he has ever done), and a physical all in the week before leaving with his unit for Annual Training. Another three months have passed. . . . He doesn't want to continue forever with what he's doing, and he has hard days (with his depression) every once in a while probably more often than I realize, but the Lord is blessing us. My husband is in very good shape physically because he really wants to get a certain score on his next Army PT test. He works out early before his full time job and told me he likes that he's "a runner," which he hasn't been in a few years. 

Side note: he and I have never lived together this long before. Between his deployments we had almost three years together. But now he has been back for three years and four months.


:: us ::

This summer he decided that we needed to get away to relax without the kids for more than just a couple of hours. I agreed. So we went on an approximately 26-hour date and had a really great time. It was Friday to Saturday August 9th-10th. {Third Girl survived that time without breastfeeding (I was fine too), and was happy to continue when she saw me again. My goal is two years.} Since some of our little family had been sick back in April when it was our anniversary, and D and I never did much to celebrate, this was like a 4-months-late anniversary vacation. I'm not sure if we will take the whole family on a trip any time soon, which is okay. It will just be that much more exciting and special when we finally do, right? Anyway, here are some of the pictures from our big date! It was so nice to be in the hot tub and pool at night. This was also his first time in a tram, he thinks, and his first time rock climbing, which surprised me. I love being married to him.

It was  cold and gorgeous.

My view as I walked out of the lodge to start my morning run.

I overcame my fear on the ropes course. I walked on most of the areas.

Although this doesn't show any of the bikers, it was neat being at one of the Tour of Utah venues! I want a bike. . . . Also, we might have felt the need to return to our kids sooner if it were not for the road being closed in the afternoon. :)

(My hair flips out if I don't straighten it. And he's even better-looking than he seems in some photos.)

He had the day off for Labor Day so he and I did some good work on our home, with the kids helping, too. We rotated our rug so the couch covers the stains. And we switched bedrooms with the kids (this took more than one day, and a lot of it was done by Saturday night). It's much better! We haven't taken pictures yet, but not all of the items, wall decorations, etc. are in place. We have the smaller bedroom but it's nice that it has a bigger closet, and the three girls have more room to play in their room now.

We are still in a 2-bedroom apartment, even though at first we thought we would only stay for a year or so. We just signed a new lease, our fourth one, because we're waiting to hear about which city he will be working in. Anyway, these changes are good. We like the layout of the furniture better now; changing bedrooms helped it feel kind of like a new place. One day soon after Labor Day he swept and straightened up the patio, I gave the toddler's seat (not quite a high chair) a bath and did three loads of laundry, etc. I still need to thoroughly clean the blinds. We got rid of junk including shirts I've had a long long time, and some toys and other kid things. I'm pretty sure that I have blogged before about the fact that it's hard for me to let go of stuff. I have gotten better with my husband's help. We know we made the right decision by not moving out yet. We had actually told the people at the leasing office that we planned to move out September 14th, but it wouldn't have been worth the stress and the other costs, since we would likely move again less than a year later. It's good to be able to still serve in this ward, where my husband has only taught Gospel Doctrine class a few times so far. I also have a fairly new calling.