beautiful quotes

Probably my favorite part of Elder Holland's April 2016 LDS General Conference talk (which I've listened to a few times including yesterday) was:

If we give our heart to God, if we love the Lord Jesus Christ, if we do the best we can to live the gospel, then tomorrow—and every other day—is ultimately going to be magnificent, even if we don’t always recognize it as such. Why? Because our Heavenly Father wants it to be! He wants to bless us. A rewarding, abundant, and eternal life is the very object of His merciful plan for His children! It is a plan predicated on the truth “that all things work together for good to them that love God.”

Then this morning before 1:00 church, I listened for the third time to Sister Neill F. Marriott's talk from the General Women's Session that was part of the same conference. Actually, I had searched on the Gospel Library app for the word "baby" and found the talk.

Let me interrupt myself.  

About those New Year's Resolutions . . . I am trying to improve with them. #5 and #7 are already done. But the one about getting up by 7 a.m. has been hard. Why? Because I'm pregnant! I could have just over two weeks left (that's when my guess date is). I love pregnancy and I feel like once she's born -- a fourth girl! -- I might miss having her inside moving around. We're all really excited to meet her, though!

January 2, a few days before my expected period (but I knew that I was pregnant)

So that's why I want to keep hearing or reading positive thoughts and stories about pregnancy, birth, and newborns.

Here's what Sister Marriott said:

Mothers literally make room in their bodies to nurture an unborn baby—and hopefully a place in their hearts as they raise them—but nurturing is not limited to bearing children. Eve was called a “mother” before she had children. I believe that “to mother” means “to give life.” Think of the many ways you give life. It could mean giving emotional life to the hopeless or spiritual life to the doubter. With the help of the Holy Ghost, we can create an emotionally healing place for the discriminated against, the rejected, and the stranger. In these tender yet powerful ways, we build the kingdom of God.

a little on faith, dreams, lists, and being musical

This is what I posted in a facebook group and it's how I have been feeling the last few days.

This is an exciting time to be on the earth. I definitely believe that "the future is as bright as [my] faith."

I believe we are in the last days, with both righteousness and wickedness increasing. There are things that frustrate me, and my husband and I each have our own ups and downs, but I have a lot of hope ("hope through the atonement of Christ"), and know that "if ye are prepared ye shall not fear." I want to help people, most of all my husband who is going through hard stuff, and our children, whom I love so much. I have big dreams for us. I want to do a lot and learn a lot. I want to be who my patriarchal blessing says I can be. I want to shine!

I was glad that my husband was with us for this April General Conference, not working that Saturday or Sunday. Another way I have been blessed with more closeness to the Spirit is through my #‎360byudevotionalsin2015‬ project I began on January 5th. It's really easy to find BYU devotionals from BYUSpeeches on YouTube. I listen to about one per day and I'm keeping a list of them.

Another list I updated today was my list of books I have read this year. I'm re-reading the manual from my CAPPA postpartum doula training, but since I didn't read every word when I got it, it's not on my list yet. I have about three other nonfiction books I am working on also, but mostly one called Fasting -- and Eating -- for Health.

Just yesterday I finished A Natural Woman: A Memoir, which singer-songwriter Carole King wrote. I didn't know much about Carole King before this, and now I want to become familiar with more of her music. It was an impulse library check-out as I walked past books on CD -- and it turned out that I was checking it out two days before her birthday! I listened as I cleaned the kitchen, and I think it took a few weeks, but I went through the last few discs, of twelve, pretty quickly. I'm impressed by a lot of the things she has done, including homeschooling, "encourag[ing] the best in people," caring about the Earth, and writing music while she had kids. I composed three piano solos, but all between the ages of 14 and 18, and none since then except for little songs with my kids, and I have not written those down. I thought about doing so the other day, but then forgot, so it's gone from my mind.

Here's a little of what I wrote down from Carole's memoir. In probably the first chapter she said, "the first piece of furniture in my parents' home was a piano." I really liked the last part of the final chapter. She was talking about her mind jumping from one thought to the next as she was performing for an audience. She realized that she had thought music was keeping her from having a normal life, but then while performing understood that "for me, music is normal life."

I'm very confident with music, sightreading, and performing. I was able to be in our ward's talent show last month, and today I will play piano for a few ladies who will sing in sacrament meeting. The song is Oh, How Lovely Was The morning -- a new (2005) tune to the LDS hymn Joseph Smith's First Prayer. Some of those big dreams I have for my life are related to music. It's part of normal life for me as well.

Scripture Sunday: "I engraved that which is pleasing unto God"

I read again a chapter in the scriptures; here are some parts that stood out to me.

The Lord told a man named Nephi to leave so that his brothers wouldn't kill him.

The Lord was with them (Nephi and the people who went with him) and they prospered "exceedingly." They had brought records -- scriptures -- with them. They had the priesthood, they worked with their hands, they built a temple "after the manner of the temple of Solomon," and children were born. They "lived after the manner of happiness."

I really really like the last section, where Nephi wrote about the importance of writing things down. Verse 32 is my favorite:

29 And I, Nephi, had kept the records upon my plates, which I had made, of my people thus far.

 30 And it came to pass that the Lord God said unto me: Make other plates; and thou shalt engraven many things upon them which are good in my sight, for the profit of thy people.

 31 Wherefore, I, Nephi, to be obedient to the commandments of the Lord, went and made these plates upon which I have engraven these things.

 32 And I engraved that which is pleasing unto God. And if my people are pleased with the things of God they will be pleased with mine engravings which are upon these plates.

He is such a great example of obedience!

You can read the whole chapter (2 Nephi 5) from the Book of Mormon here: https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/5?lang=eng

almond art

Second Girl came up with all of this herself, a few days ago. The last part of her lunch was some almonds. I did not even think of making them into something, but she sure did. And I was in the kitchen, not with her in the dining room, when she announced, "Look, Mommy! I made a cross, like the cross Jesus died on. It's a good thing almonds are brown."

Then she told me that she had made a tree, "because Jesus made the world, and it's part of the world."

Our kids make me so happy!

And here's a picture of her from a couple weeks ago, having fun with her great-grandma's bracelets!

my friend Andrea

Last week I found something in my old Bible -- the one I got when I was ten and that I want to get the inserts from to transfer to my new one. What I found was the program for my friend Andrea's funeral. I saw that she passed away July 22nd, three years ago. Her husband had checked on her when she was asleep, but her spirit was gone. . . . I have memories of her in Young Women with me on Sundays and on Tuesday nights -- a rock climbing activity stands out to me -- and at camps. I think "service" when I think of her; we served each other. She needed a lot of service from her family because she was born with spina bifida and had to use a wheelchair. One way she served was with her great smile.

See? Great smile.

I love the way she kept in touch with everybody after high school. I mean everybody, because it seems that she was friends with all types of people. She called me regularly to chat from about 2004 on. I learned at her funeral that she had about 200 friends that she called probably at least once a month, but I felt special to her. I didn't always know what to talk about when she called, and she sometimes asked me questions that were hard to answer and explain, like about what it was like being pregnant and being a mom (I don't remember specifics). She said that she wanted to know because she wouldn't be able to be a mom. I remember telling her one evening that I was making bean burgers, and she had never heard of bean burgers but didn't say anything negative. She wanted to understand people, I think, and she is an example of how to listen and "love thy neighbor as thyself." She was a sweetheart and so is the man she married.

I also think about the fact that three years before Andrea passed away, her brother did. I attended his funeral to show support to her. I felt the Spirit and love very strongly at both funerals. Her parents are sure going to have a wonderful reunion after many years apart from their kids. (They lost another son, too, and I actually don't know that story but I think he might have been stillborn.)

It was neat that on July 22nd a familiar song came and played in my mind -- a song that Kenneth Cope wrote about a different girl named Andrea. I think my friend Andrea saw beyond the stars, too. I'm looking forward to seeing her run or do cartwheels or whatever she wants when she is resurrected, with a laugh and a smile on her face!

You can hear part of the song here: http://kennethcope.com/albums/stories-from-edens-garden/

ANDREA

(written by Kenneth Cope)

—for Andrea Goodman and family—

Andrea—you wear the smile of paradise

Andrea—you see beyond the stars

Ever reminding me that angels aren’t that far

My Andrea

Andrea—you wear the wings of innocence

It’s like you don’t belong here on the ground

But then there might be some of us who’d never reach the clouds

Without Andrea

And if day turns into gray

If hope hides far away

I know an angel I can go to for a smile

And that haze that has me blind

Will fade from my mind

Just from the thought of you

My Andrea

Andrea—you’re hoping for a better world

You long to be with Jesus in the sky

And I believe you’re going to see what you desire

My Andrea

Andrea—we feared that we had lost you

Gone without a chance to say “Good-bye”

But thanks to God you’ve come back to stay a while

My Andrea

And if day turns into gray

If hope hides far away

I know an angel I can go to for a smile

And that haze that has me blind

Will fade from my mind

Just from the thought of you

My Andrea

When day turns into gray

When hope hides far away

Then I remember how I feel when you are near

And my heart starts to rise

And light fills these eyes

All from the thought of you

From the love of you

My Andrea

Andrea—teach me the smile of paradise

© 1998 Mohrgüd Music (BMI)

a Throwback Thursday collage

I have been doing some pondering today, and I have felt joy. I have been thinking about new friendships, friendship in general, and ways to serve. Those thoughts and those things make me happy. I overheard two smiling mothers as they passed each other outside of First Girl's school: "How are you?" "I don't even know." "Yeah, seriously." For some reason hearing that made me happy, too. I ate garlicky brussels sprouts before eating the rest of my breakfast. I did some laundry (the kitchen still needs some work). I ran two miles in twenty one minutes while our younger daughters played near me in the fitness center. I've been praying more lately and feeling more hope. And the book I'm reading, The Gift of Giving Life, has given me a better "big picture" perspective about life. When I was looking at twitter, where I don't have a photo across the top (I dislike their new look), I thought maybe I would make a collage for that. I love how it turned out but actually decided on something simpler for my twitter page. It was really fun to look at some of our older photos and to be grateful for those memories. So this is a #tbt -- Throwback Thursday. The sheet music in the background is for the song we danced to at our wedding reception in 2004, but I started to learn how to play the piano when I was seven. (I love Jerome Kern and the sweet lyrics, and loved having Roger play the piano!) I still treasure the feeling of being in the Los Angeles temple with my husband in 2006 when I was pregnant; that was a wonderful night. The top middle photo of the collage is from 2008 when I ran a 10k. The bottom left was taken in 2011, and the others are a little more recent. C is here twice simply because the newborn picture reminds me of when each of our children were newborns, and the beauty of each new life. I always wanted to be a mom. The collage represents some of me, my life, and what is special to me.

a tender conversation between First Girl and Second Girl

Our kids had kind of a hard day today.

In the morning I could tell First Girl needed to keep sleeping and go to school late, if at all. I wasn't sure if she was getting a bit of a cold from her sisters. I think she slept until about 9 a.m. She's usually up by 8, which I know is not very early, but I have gotten in a habit of finishing their bedtime routine after 9 p.m. We didn't rush to eat breakfast. I saw that she didn't have a runny nose, and I didn't hear her cough (but Third Girl definitely did) . . . Anyway, she wanted to go to school, and we dropped her off at 11:30.

An hour later Second Girl was hurrying to the van so I could drive her to preschool, and she fell onto the sidewalk and scraped her elbow. That was after I'd already held her and calmed her down because she didn't really want to go for some reason. I know she enjoys her friends there and explained that she only has two weeks left in that class. Well, then she got another owie before dinner. It was strange how it happened. In the public restroom in D.I. she was raising and lowering the diaper changing table for fun. It wouldn't stay up (closed) and she ended up getting hit with it right between her eye and her temple.

First Girl, being the sweet sister and daughter that she is, helped me by trying to make Second girl happy while I tried on clothes. Oh, and we were all crammed into the little dressing room with the shopping cart, which I should have left out of the room, and they were hungry, and Second Girl wanted to watch Strawberry Shortcake (this one). In spite of the unpleasant things, they had this tender conversation afterward. It warmed my heart and I am grateful that it wasn't the only time they've talked about the gospel. I am so proud of them.

First Girl: Aren't you glad we chose Heavenly Father's plan?

Second Girl: [Yeah.] I'm glad we didn't get real tattoos [at the international fair last night] because Heavenly Father doesn't want us to get real tattoos.*

. . .

First Girl: Imagine how it would be not to be able to run and --

Second Girl: My favorite exercise is running.

First Girl: Yeah, and imagine how it would be if you couldn't. . . .

Second Girl: And we wouldn't be able to be with our mommy.

. . .

First Girl: If we had followed Satan we wouldn't have a family . . . Let's not talk about that.

Second Girl: It's okay to talk about Jesus.

First Girl: You're adorable.

_______

*https://www.lds.org/topics/tattooing?lang=eng